So by now everyone knows that Hostess is shutting down production and closing it’s doors for good. It came as a complete shock to me. Their cakes are known for their eternal shelf life. Why would I think the company itself had an expiration date? As a matter of fact when I heard the news I took it as a sign of the Apocalypse. I mean the date is only a month away. The demise of Hostess could be the end of everything. I mean all things considered it’s difficult to fathom that there will never be another Twinkie made…ever!
As a child my mother did not buy us Hostess products. She baked. So anything we wanted in the way of sweets would come from our oven and not the store. But when I was a teenager and began to buy things for myself I did enjoy an occasional Fruit Pie and RingDings. And when I became a professional teenage babysitter…well the gloves were off when it came to snacking in other peoples’ houses. There was one family I would sit for that had three sons. And their cupboards were filled with every Hostess treat, chip and canned cheese you could fathom. I would leave there in a snack induced haze…stumbling home singing songs of lost love and good times. But now as an adult I dutifully wear my mother’s shoes. My child eats the treats I bake. And for her the word Hostess will mean nothing other than a woman hosting a party.
But until all the cakes, pies and Donettes are gone. I urge you to sing this little song I wrote to say farewell to Hostess brand products. Please sing to the tune of Bye Bye Miss American Pie…by Don McLean
A long, long time ago
I can still remember how your Ding Dongs made me smile.
And if I knew you’d leave so soon I would have savored your Suzy Q’s
and…
Maybe I’d be happy for a while
But November’s news made my soul quake and long for one more Cream Filled Cupcake
Bad news on the TV - Your haunting sweets won’t leave me
I cannot tell you that I cried when I heard that your business fried
But something touched me deep inside the day the Twinkies died
So bye-bye mini Hostess Fruit Pies
Kiss your apple and your cherry and your lemon goodbye
No more Ho Hos, SnowBalls, Ring Dings or pies
No more Sweet Rolls going straight to my thighs
No more Sweet Rolls going straight to my thighs
And we’ll be singing…
Bye-bye mini Hostess Fruit Pies
Kiss your apple and your cherry and your lemon goodbye
No more Ho Hos, SnowBalls, Ring Dings or pies
No more Sweet Rolls going straight to my thighs
No more Sweet Rolls going straight to my thighs…
Repeat chorus drunkenly until you wake up with your face covered in cream filling.
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