A lady must have goals...

    My legs ache.  My head aches.  My heart aches.  Sometimes I get so tired of running down this dream…chasing it.  I’m ready to lasso this motherfucker…bring it out back…kill it…cook it…and eat it.   When does wild-eyed enthusiasm turn into a squinty, skeptical glare?  It is hard work being optimistic these days.  There are no jobs out there for fantasizers or idealists.  My visionary capacities are otherwise redirected to daydreaming of my own resplendent future world.  

    A world in which I live in a four bedroom colonial with at least two full baths one of which on the master suite….with a large fenced in back yard with a gate to access my private beach.  My great room has a large hearth fireplace made of river stones and it has beamed ceilings.  In a corner there is a small, black baby grand piano.  Don’t you love my great room?  Oh! And french doors opening to an outside living room.  Who am I?  

    I will tell you.  I am someone who as perfected the art of daydreaming so much that I get listings for houses that match my description.  I’ve shopped online and filled carts full of wall art and furniture that I not only have no place to put but no money to by it with.  I have an app on my phone to build my own Cadillac.  I can choose all the features, order it and pick it up when it’s ready with fist-fulls of Monopoly money.  The Cadillac is my family car.  I also will own a Challenger with a black-matte finish in which no child will ever ride.  No Cheerios in the Challenger!  That’s a rule.  Because even made up worlds have rules.  

    In my land of make believe I am a lady of utmost regard.  In the land of the real I am a clown in ladies shoes pretending in hopes to portend my land of the future.  When the lights go out I slip my shiny rubber nose into my pant pocket and sip tea with an erect pinky.  When the lights come on I reapply my rubber nose and face a wet-nosed crowd armed with balloon animals.  A dream realized would be that these two worlds meet and I can sip my tea rubber nosed and surrounded by balloon animals…in my great room…with my Cadillac and Challenger parked outside.  A lady must have goals…