Everything happens for a reason...

This last week has been particularly rough for me.  I feel like I have been awaiting my fate.  Like someone was going to brain me with a giant rubber stamp that read either "LIVE" or "DIE".  But of course that didn't happen...just more questions were raised and more tests ordered.  I spent alot of time with my daughter enjoying here every move.  I recall the day that I found out I was pregnant.  I was over a week late and I knew something was up.  It was not my plan to get knocked up....but then again I had been playing with fire.  I went to the drugstore and bought a pregnancy test and a bottle of wine.  I drank the wine until I had to pee.  My sister was taking a bath when I went in to do the deed.   I read the instructions aloud as if I didn't know what to do.  Then I went on the stick.  I said to my sister as I was getting up..."now I have to wait three minutes".  But before I could even rest the test on the counter it read "PREGNANT".  I had gotten the digital read out one...sparing no expense.  And I gaspsed..."where's the "NOT"?  But there it was...and the room began to spin.  And somehow I managed the words "I'm pregnant" to my sister still soaking in the tub.  Through my sobs and blubbering I could hear her coaching me to breathe.  And a million things swirled around in my head.  I was single and broke and 37 years old and pregnant...not the best combination of things to be but it was what it was.  And two years later I know why I had my daughter.  Because I may not be able to have any more soon.   And if I had missed the opportunity to have a child and then got sick it would have been a regret.  My daughter is the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me.  So no matter what happens I got to experience one of the greatest gifts.
My stamp will read "LIVE".  I might have a hard road ahead and I would be a liar if I said I wasn't worried.  But my daughter is living proof that everything happens for a reason.